2009 Image It [1/4]

The images of 2009. A warm mahalo to those who made these moments possible and shared them with me!

[Click on a photo for an enlarged view.]

It Was the Year 2009

…when I went through the motions and emotions of the turmoil that change brings and I’m still standing.
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Shifting Gears
The first half of the year had me continue volunteering with the church youth department. In the second half I left the YD and got busy putting together a young adults ministry. *Deep sigh* it has been an up and a down so far. Pray that it will make the upswing soon.

Personally, I sense that I am in another gear in my spiritual journey. 2009 is the year I led my first camp group, completed my first Bible read-through, gave my first sermon, and began a small group. I continue to pray constantly for it has been all by the grace of God. I am learning to demonstrate my trust in God as I step out of my comfort zone and into His work (being obedient to Him). It has been difficult but absolutely worth it!
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Switching Chairs
I started Spring semester with a new chairperson for thesis. It didn’t look good when I started Fall semester scrambling for a new chair again. Blessingly, I signed a new chair. I wasn’t too hopeful about all the change and felt the pressure of the semester being my last chance. I was able to pull it out somehow. Couple Fridays ago, I passed the first defense for research! Now to press on and do whatever I have to do.
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Loving and Breaking
As I continue to deepen my relationship with God, the more I find myself having love for more people, even difficult ones, ones who have little or no love for me, ones with whom I cannot seem to find a way to relate, ones whom I’ve never met before. I HAVE love for many; I need to learn how to respond or act in love, to let His love manifest in how I relate with others. It’s a work in progress; I AM a work in progress!

I realized recently that while I have a mountain of emotions, I do not understand them. I have love but I don’t know what to do with it. I am sad but I don’t know why. I hurt for others, with others, but I don’t know how to show it in a way that they can receive it.

Personally, I chose Love but Love has not chosen me this year. I should make a shirt that says, “I break for Love.” As I analyze the situation and recall past relationships, I was deeper into this one than I thought I was. I think of it as being attached where I have never been attached before. I was DEtached in past relationships and kept a distance of protection.

It’s taking longer than expected to detach. At the moment, I am determined to redirect and be open to something else. I have no other choice for now. It has been extremely painful. I am afraid I might not be speaking of the person you’re thinking of.
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Braving the Elements
It’s been somewhat of an adventurous year. Hmmm…there was the camp at a site I have never been, hanging out at Brians’ for the first time in a long while, baptisms and birthdays and a graduation party, playing more video games than I have in my life ever (mainly Rockband, but also tried Mario Brawl), hiking in new places, karaoke, snorkeling at Shark’s Cove! Friends and I got a free makeup demonstration at Sephora, raced horses at DnBs, mini golf, had a late night date on the beaches of Waikiki, got into a lot of girly things. Watching the Pipeline Masters in person for the first time was amazing! Snail hunting was so fun!

Just a lot of things I haven’t done before or hadn’t done in a long time. I have very deep, dark moments, but if having the pain means I also get to have the good memories also, I’ll take it all! Let’s do more!
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Those are my thoughts for now on the past year. How was your 2009?

Mahalo for reading. I shall see you next year and God bless you.

Hollywood Overload

Among other things, I’ve been catching up on a lot of “old” movies during this break. Since Monday, I’ve watched 13 movies so far, in my private home theater. I’ve also been cleaning the theater; at least I don’t have to worry about stained seats and sticky floors.

Now Showing in a theater near…me:

We Own the Night
Babel
Taken
American Gangster
Untraceable
The Nanny Diaries
I Am Legend
Black Dahlia
Assault on Precinct 13
The Brave One
Shooter
Firewall
The Forbidden Kingdom

Next up: Premonition, that’ll hafta wait until tonight, after our church’s Christmas Eve service.

Some thoughts, the list is in order of how I watched them, so notice I snuck in “Nanny” in between some heavy subject material. I liked "We Own"; it was interesting to have a story where the "bad apple" in the family turns "good" instead of watching the good guy become more corrupted. I liked “Taken,” if I was taken like that, I’d want Liam Neeson to come for me; come on, he’s the voice of ASLAN!

“Untraceable,” I really liked, though it was a little graphic but a smart movie and it feeds my paranoia. After watching it, I thought about not posting journal entries any more; never know who’s reading. “Precinct” was interesting, I enjoyed it. “Shooter” was good also. “Forbidden”…while kung fu fighting scenes with Jackie Chan is always entertaining, the storyline bored me so I didn’t pay much attention to any of it.

Overall, nothing that I really wished I had seen in the theater. Maybe "Untraceable."

And I was going to but then declined watching “Good Luck Chuck.” The preview didn’t look that interesting after all. Maybe if I run out of other things and still have time to watch it.

Oh, and in the theaters (because I have theater going friends now) I recently saw “Armored” and “Avatar (3-D).” I enjoyed them both in different ways. Since they’re still in the theaters, I don’t wanna say any more about them so that you can experience them for yourselves if you like.
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Anyways, I thought I would try to post at least one entry every day in December and try to end with 100 posts for the year, but that’s not gonna happen! I do plan to post more during the break and the 2009 Image It entries should begin soon; lots of photos taken this year with lots of favorite smiles!

Mele Kalikimaka to all!

Masters Class

Texas and Fist picked me up around 6:30 am on Saturday to make the trek up North Shore. We got to Ehukai around 7, found parking along the street not too far. We got a pretty good spot on the beach. Texas took pics with her Nikon D60- I’m jealous! I will post some of my photos, but think what they would’ve looked like with a Nikon…D90…!

We were there for the third round of the Billabong Pipeline Masters. It was a beautiful day! Blue skies, few white fluffy clouds, gentle breeze, clean monster waves! We watched the surf stylings of Andy Irons, Damien Hobgood, John John Florence, Hank Gaskell and more. We saw perfect-10 rides by John John Florence, Kelly Slater, and Roy Powers.

It was amazing! Seeing it in person is much more exciting than hearing about it on the news. Being there made me interested in becoming a water photographer or being on the water patrol, like if I had been exposed to that when I was younger, I might have worked towards that.

All that was missing was a souvenir shirt, I should have gotten one. More reason to go again next time!

And Matsumoto’s to top it off. YUM! Lychee and tangerine.
[Click on the photo for a larger view]

Material Girl

In general, I don’t think of myself as a materialistic person. Then it comes to wanting to declutter my life and I have a difficult time parting with stuff. Most of this stuff represents memories and a bit of identity for me.

Take the Closet to Blessings Exchange our small group recently had. I am rather fashion-impaired. I wear what I want to wear without much thought to whether or not pieces match or if they look good on me. I have no idea what style or color is in. I basically want to be comfortable.

Usually, to declutter, I go to the closet first. It’s relatively easy for me to get rid of clothes, so much so that for a few months, I was living off of about 5 outfits. I’ve recently began to invest in some new clothing items, piece by piece.

Still, for the Exchange, I went through my closet about 4 times. Each time I told myself I would take out more to give away, not put anything back. I went back and forth on a few items. Some items are from my “skinny” days that I hope will return one day. In the end, I was able to let go of some clothes that I was holding on to.

A few summers ago, I pared down my stuffed animals collection. It wasn’t really a collection in the way that I was the one seeking stuffed animals. I think some are cute, but I wouldn’t spend money on them. I still have a box of animals in my room, a rather large storage box of them. I’m having a difficult time giving those up and think I will go through them for the next Exchange. They are ones that friends and family have given me.

I have the two huge paper roses from Neo; one was an unexpected gift at an unexpected time and the other was for my birthday. I have a light up rose that I got from the night I met Thok.

I love reading and writing, and so I love books. I have several shelves overflowing with books. I will have to go through them when I have more time. I have a lot of CDs. I keep hardcopies of things like statements and such (what’s the rule of thumb for how many years I should keep records?).

I have stuff. I admire people who keep their houses neat and tidy. It creeps me out when they keep it too tidy, like if they can’t stand a misplaced pillow or something, but I admire the tidiness. When I see families that have lost everything in a fire or a hurricane, my heart aches for them.

I have a theory. I think if I had a better memory, I wouldn’t keep so much stuff. I keep stuff to aid my memory. Especially if something evokes a warm memory. I need help remembering those people and times.

And perhaps I can turn my photography into memory aids. I’ll get around to taking photos of the things I’d like to remember. Then I can look at the photos when I want to feel good or something. That’s what helped me get rid of more clothes, thinking back to whether I have a photo of me wearing it or not.

What kinds of things are you holding on to? Are you a “memory collector,” material person, or a light traveler?

Mahalo for reading!

[I am NEVER getting rid of Huggy Love Bear! :) ]

Birth Order Contemplations

I came across this at a store:



I am considering getting that as a present to someone, most likely my brother. I don't know that he needs another silly book, but I am sure he would appreciate the humor. Only, it is quite expensive to be a gag gift, even for my brother.
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A friend recently said that I seem like an only child. It could be that my friends don't get to see my brother and I interact much, but my friend said that I just don't behave like a typical youngest child.

When my brother and I are together, I totally feel like the younger sister. I had a difficult time living with him if only because as we grew older, he began to act as if he were my parent; dealing with two parents was enough!

But otherwise, we didn't really have huge arguments and such. He looked after me, protected me, tries to be very thoughtful when getting me a gift. He's a good older brother.

Sometimes, I feel like I was meant to be a middle child. Mom says that no one came after I was born, so I am a youngest child. The middle child feelings are coming out more as Mom got a dog. Does that sound sad or what? Dad and Bro are a little more like friends; Mom's attention is on the dog. And I'm left with...myself...and my cats...

I'm not complaining, it's just an odd feeling. I sense that I relate more like a middle child.

Where are you in the birth order? Do you think your position on the birth order has any influence on who you are?

More Small Group Adventures!

Here are more photos and descriptions of our Women's Small Group activities. If you have a small group, hopefully this can give you some ideas on things your group can do.

In getting started at first, trying to get organized, we went with a default of meeting at Salt Lake SC. This is because the SC is near our central location and has a selection of places we enjoy; mostly we frequent ColdStone, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, and we've tried out the saimin shop there which is pretty good. Hmmm, we haven't done Soon's yet, must remedy this.

Ginger's schedule opened up and offered to host small group. Fist had a humongous nail polish collection and wanted help with making use of it, so we held a nail polish party at Ginger's. This was our first real theme night.


About 15 of the colors came from Ginger and me. Fist brought the rest!

The next theme night was Punch and Makeup. Fist hosted and made an alcohol-free Cosmopolitan Punch, with fresh garnishes of blueberries, cranberries and orange zest. It was delicious! She had been wanting to make it for the group so tried it out on us. Halloween and our church's Harvest Celebration were coming up so we planned out more costume details and that included how we would do our makeup. Most of the products were from my collection this time.



Fist had to find snails for the saltwater tank in her classroom so we moved small group to the beach and went snail-hunting to help her out. It was fun! Bubbles found a cool decorator crab that had anemones on its shell. This mother and her sons passed by and got curious so we showed them some of our finds. I think she said they were visiting. The boys got a little jealous that we were "playing!"


And here we are, rinsing off our feet! They wanted this photo. No, we are not doing a rain dance!



Texas offered to host SG and we finally went over. This photo is of the cake she made: delicious! Orange is her favorite color and the spoon/fork thing she had looked cool!


Texas' sister and friend were visiting so we planned for a karaoke outing for them, but they ended up not being able to make it. :( We had a good time anyway. We didn't have devotional time and opened up the event to our male friends. Mahalo to Bubbles for organizing karaoke! Mahalo to our friends who came out and also for providing refreshments! Fist made more punch but without the garnishes this time.





Next we went to dinner at Nordstrom Cafe. The food was sooooo ONO! Bubbles treated us to creme brulee: OH WOW. It was good too. We had some extra time, waiting for Bubble's ride so we went over to Fist's and played with some clay!



Starting a small group is not as difficult as I thought it might be. Of course, it helped that I was just organizing something that someone else wanted me to, and starting out with people I knew helped.

I think I shall put some small group pointers from my experiences on another entry.

Mahalo for reading!

Closet to Blessings Exchange

Since September, I’ve been leading a small group with the young adult women. I still feel a little odd about it because I’ve never really been in a small group before and now I’m guiding one. Generally what we do is pray, read a verse or passage from the Bible, I lead a devotional and discussion time, and close in prayer. Then we have a bonding activity, for which we all have contributed on ideas. When the group grows to where it’s no longer “small,” one of them could easily take over my responsibilities and I could lead another group. God is amazing.

Next Sunday, the church is having a Ho‘omaika‘i [blessings] Picnic. One of the activities for the picnic is a Blessings Exchange. People bring their new and lightly used items like clothing, linens, and household things. People are free to come and pick out what they want and whatever is leftover gets donated.

In preparation for the Blessings Exchange, our small group had a Closet to Blessings Exchange this past week, after our devotional time. One of us had an idea a while ago to have us clean out our closets of things we’re willing to let go of, bring them to small group, and we could exchange clothing. It’s a fun and easy way to change up one’s wardrobe without spending money. With the Blessings Exchange coming up, I thought it would be good to have our closet exchange and then whatever isn’t picked up gets donated to the Blessings Exchange.

Our Closet to Blessings Exchange was a success! We laid several layers of clothing out on a couch and then covered the table with accessories. It was fun looking at what each other brought, trying things on in serious and ridiculous ways!

A few items were picked out and taken home. I was a little concerned that ALL of us in this group are of very different shapes and sizes. No two of us could easily exchange clothes with each other. We have the tall, the short, the slender, the curvy, the slender and curvy, etc. We have different style tendencies. Despite the differences in body shape and preferences, two of us came out with stuff. Generally, Fist took some of my clothes and I took some of Bubbles clothes. I think Bubbles took some accessories. We gotta find someone for Bubbles to take clothes from…. That sounds weird without context.

Anyways, we came out with two bagfuls of clothes that will be dropped off for the Blessings Exchange. I still have t-shirts at home to give away, but Mom wants to look through them. Texas was with us and others couldn't make it. Hopefully, more of us can make it next time!

Have your own exchange, whether it be clothes, teabags, books, random keys, etc!

Anyways, photos below!



Um, below, I'm wearing 4 layers of tops, two necklaces and two hair scrunchies. I didn't take the accessories and one top was already mine.

Untitled [12.05.09]

I’d like to ask you to pray, right now, as you read this. I’m sorry that I can’t be more open here about what I would ask to pray for but just to sense people praying in general would be good.

In recent years, I’ve been wondering how the holiday season can be so warm and joyful as well as so depressing at the same time. I’m sorry, even saying that is sad. I just can’t seem to make any sense of it.

My heart goes out to individuals hurting during this season. Pray for them.

I’m going to stop typing and pray right now. Please do the same. Thank you.

Scent of a Woman

I have been wearing the same every day scent since…since high school I think. I’ve at least been wearing it since 2000. I know 2000 because that’s when I dated Neo. About 4 years after we broke up, he picked me up for lunch and commented on how I was wearing the same scent as before. My, how time flies. I hadn’t realized the fact until Neo pointed it out.

The scent is Calgon’s Morning Glory. To me, it smells fresh and clean, as if I’ve just stepped out of the shower. I generally wear the body mist but I also use the lotion and body wash at times. I intend to keep on wearing it as long as they keep making it, but Calgon’s been coming up with several new scents and I’m seeing Morning Glory on the shelves less and less often [it can be found at most general stores like Longs’ or Walmart]. I will be a little sad if they discontinue it.

I don’t like heavy, overpowering perfumes. I also don’t like powdery smelling scents, like…Estee Lauder’s Pleasures [I have a very low tolerance for Pleasures, but that is another story].

Morning Glory is what I wear on most days. I don’t go out much, but when I do I like to wear something different for a change.
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In college on a night out, I wore Curve by Liz Claiborne. The description on Amazon.com says, “Launched by the design house of Liz Claiborne in 1996, Curve is classified as a refreshing, flowery fragrance. This feminine scent possesses a blend of Italian mandarin, orange French Guinea blended with citrus zest, water lily, orchid and yellow freesia.” It was good for the moment but I don’t think I’m going to wear that again.

After using up a second bottle of Curve, I moved on to Tommy Hilfiger’s Tommy Girl. Amazon.com description says, “This effervescent floral scent inspired by American wildflowers, combines a blend of camellia and black currant flowers, mandarin, tangerine, Cherokee rose, desert jasmine and butterfly violets.” I have since cut way back on my going out, so I still have half a bottle of this left. I’m not sure if I’m going to give it away or keep it. I still like the scent.

Browsing at Macy’s with Apple one time, we sampled some products at the perfume counter. I really liked Escada’s Moon Sparkle. As read on Amazon.com, “Evoking memories of hot summer party nights filled with a sexy, magical intensity where anything is possible, Moon Sparkle for Women is the essence of summertime. Captured here, to be enjoyed year round, is an luscious mix of irresistible sweet red fruits and delicate florals, infused by a sensuously smooth base of creamy woods.” I didn’t get it because I still had Tommy Girl, but I remember liking it a lot. It was a limited edition scent.

The most recent scent was purchased earlier this year, DKNY’s Be Delicious Fresh Blossom. Sephora.com describes it as, “a radiant new fragrance that marries freshness, vibrancy, and femininity. A blend of sparkling grapefruit, cassis, and sun-kissed apricot meets a blooming floral heart of sheer muguet and petally rose wrapped in luminous jasmine. A base of juicy apple, mingled with lingering blond woods and smooth skin accord, completes the irresistibly sensual experience of the essence.” I have NO idea what all that means. Fist says it smells like lychee, which happens to be the shave ice flavor of my choice! I really like it; it makes me want to make excuses to go out so I can wear it.
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I wonder if there is a pattern in reading the descriptions all together. Fruity scents seem to be a common theme.

Recap: for every day use I wear Calgon’s Morning Glory. Premier choice for going out and special occasions is DKNY’s Be Delicious Fresh Blossom. Second choice for a change-up in going out is Tommy Girl by Tommy Hilfiger.

Do you have a “signature scent?” What perfumes/colognes have you worn in the past?

Mahalo.

Pondering the Deep Pool

A lot to think about.
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The further along I move on my spiritual journey, the deeper the sense of believing in God the All-mighty. Perhaps one of my biggest blocks towards a fruitful life is fear. I’ve gotten better at letting it go and putting my focus on God’s power and sovereignty, but I still trip over fear now and then. It remains a work in progress.

At a recent Bible study session, the topic of marriage and divorce came up in the Book of Matthew. Understanding that divorce is always disliked by God is easy; it is less than what God intended for marriage. Thinking that abuse is not grounds enough for a divorce is difficult. The abused should make every effort to protect themselves, and others in the situation whom cannot protect themselves, as in children, but to not divorce the abuser sounds…. I have no words.

Logically, I can understand; that’s the only way I can understand it, not having been abused myself. So logically, or maybe it’s faithfully, I can only say it this way: I believe in almighty God whom can change the heart of any man and any woman. One never knows what God will do in the life of the abuser, but I also know that hope doesn’t always come easy. It’s a lousy situation.
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I have this great fear that… I’m praying God gets me through this. It’s something that has always been with me since I was very young, since I can remember. It’s followed me through my faith. I’m trying to get to that point where I can say, “God, if this takes my life, so be it for your glory.” I’m not talking about suicide exactly, that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about carrying my cross.

Am I willing to bear my cross if it will mean that God uses me to build up the young adults? What happens to them and those they could reach if I don’t? This goes to the question of how can I be sure that this specific group is who God is calling me to minister to? I was sure before, but not so much now. Couldn’t God raise up someone else? Is someone so unstable the right person to lead anyone?

Wasn’t I saying that I believe in almighty God?
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I need a lot of encouragement. I’m getting some and I need to appreciate that more. I’m overly critical of myself. I put too much unnecessary pressure on myself that I’m not enjoying things as I should.

And I would give it all to change the heart of one person.

I’ve gotten over one hurdle and the next one seems even larger. I suppose on top of everything else, life after giving up a dream is… brutal. Life could have been worse. I have all I need. Why do I want so much more?

Confusing, I know. I get it.

Gaga For the Lady

One of my several cynical friends put up a FB status recently saying that he’s a fan of Lady Gaga. If you don’t know who she is…I don’t know what that says about you but she’s a music performer whom is very theatrical.

Lady Gaga’s been on the “Ellen” show a few times but most recently in November. After watching a clip of the interview myself, I am more of a fan of hers than I was before. Before, I just liked her “Just Dance” song because, well, for many reasons.

I would also suggest watching a clip of this most recent Lady Gaga on “Ellen” interview. It should at least give one some thought as to how to see other people whom are very much not like you and how to treat them.

Lady Gaga Interview

Thanks to Cynic for his post on this.
Mahalo to you for reading.

Making Up with Makeup

For the longest time, my makeup kit has consisted of lip balm and not much else. Two reasons for this has been that my mom wasn’t the kind to wear a lot of makeup herself so couldn’t teach me anything and because my eyes and skin are very sensitive. I didn’t like that CoverGirl smelled like a medicine cabinet. Any mascara I’d tried would make me cry in a minute.

But now I’ve made up with makeup and having fun with it. I still don’t know how to manage day versus night time looks and coordinating cool, neutral and warm colors, but I don’t really care about that much; I’ll wear what I wanna wear.

The main contributor to this reconciliation with makeup is due to Nicole Miller. From what I know, she started out with clothes that are fabulous and started a cosmetics line a few years ago. Her makeup is only sold through the health-wellness company, Melaleuca. Her line is made with natural ingredients.
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For skincare I use the Hydrating Cleanser, Daytime Delivery Crème and Eye Wear Night Recovery Crème. All of this is gentle enough for my skin while being refreshing and clean. I also recommend the treatments; there is one for exfoliating, a refining mud masque, and a hydrating fruit masque, all of which I’ve tried and use.

On the eyes, nothing makes them water prematurely. The eye shadows go on smoothly and blend well with a lot of neutral colors to use and a few eye-popping colors. The mascara does not have any harsh, lingering perfumes. The waterproof mascara is really waterproof. I use the pencil eyeliner which is soft.

For the face, I use the mineral foundation set with loose powder. They both cover well and also have no lingering perfumes to irritate my skin. After awhile, I don’t realize I have anything on. I don’t care for the concealer, but that could be because I don’t know how to use concealer well at all. NM has great colors for blushes!

And LIPS! I love using lip gloss; I hate having dry lips. I also love the shape of my lips; I think I get them from Popo. My favorite colors from NM lip gloss are Flirt and Rumor. They are not sticky. NM also has a great line of lip-colors that are soft and smooth. I like Raspberry [discontinued], Fuchsia, Sun Ripened, and St. Valentine. I don’t know how to use lip liners either so I can’t say much about that.

One can probably tell that I don’t know how to talk about cosmetics, describing how they are and such. I can say that I recommend Nicole Miller cosmetics, especially if you have sensitive eyes and/or skin and care about using natural ingredient products.

For more information on NM products [under the “Beauty” tab]:
http://www.melaleuca.com/ProductStore/ProductStore.aspx

I am a Melaleuca/NM seller, so let me know if you are interested in trying something! They also have a return policy that if you’re not satisfied with the product or the color isn’t right for you, you can return or exchange it.

Mahalo for reading.

Click on photo for larger view.

NM products used in photos:
Above right:
eyeshadow Honeyshimmer
eyeshadow Fiji
eyeshadow Moss
eyeliner Deep Bronze
waterproof mascara Brown/Black
lip color Sunripened
lip gloss Rumor
mineral foundation Light
loose powder Natural Beige [Discontinued]
blush Soft Rose

Below first:
eyeshadow Honeyshimmer
eyeshadow Midnight
eyeliner Deep Bronze
waterproof mascara Brown/Black
lip color Sunripened

Below second and third:
eyeshadow Cinnamon
waterproof mascara Brown/Black

Christmas Wishlist 2009

You can skip this part. The real wishlist is the second half. ;)
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From LUSH: http://www.lushusa.com/shop/
The Sicilian Bath Bomb, 5.95
Honey I Washed the Kids Soap, 7.95
Miranda Soap, 7.95
17 Cherry Tree Lane Soap, 7.95
Each Peach Massage Bar, 8.75

GCs to: Charlotte Russe, Coldstone, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, LUSH, MAC, Nordstrom, iTunes, Foodland

DVD [widescreen preferred]: He’s Just Not That into You, 27 Dresses, any X-Men movie, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Twilight, New Moon, Facing Giants, The Blind Side [still in theaters I think]

Elfquest Graphic Novels 6, 7 or 8
Choice Organic White Jasmine Tea
A case of Arizona Green Tea
Calgon Morning Glory products
Glitzy-Glam keychain: http://glitzy-glam.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=4&products_id=6
Marit Larsen “If a Song Could Get Me You” CD [it’s not on iTunes :( ]
Clarinet, singing, or dancing lessons
A webcam
A weekend with HFH
A night at the symphony
A friend for Huggy Love Bear…?! :)
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A gift idea you could give to others that you probably haven’t thought of: Road ID items http://www.roadid.com/. I came across this as I was in California on my own, riding the bike to and from work, travelling to Oakland by public transportation, etc. I have the Fixx ID. It’s just an idea if you know someone kinda safety-minded and travels a lot.

Here’s the serious part. I DON’T NEED ANYTHING. I have a home, I have food, I have clothes. So I would rather have gifts of donations to any of the following: Ligonier Ministries, The Hawaii Food Bank, East Bay Habitat for Humanity or the Honolulu Habitat for Humanity [East Bay is because that is the one I volunteered with personally and they do a wonderful job]. This would be good also because I would like to donate more of my own money, but that is not much at all compared to the amount I would like to give.

Oh, another idea, I would like gift cards from any grocery stores, fast food places, Longs in the amount of $5-$10. What I will do with these is have a few in my bag with me mainly for when I travel on my own, especially on the bus. I will give them to needy people that I meet on the street. This would help me feel a little safer when I go around on my own by not having a lot of cash on me but able to have something for someone in need. Plus, this way I wouldn’t spend the GC on myself [which I probably would if it were cash].

I’ve had this frequent thought also to have an extra umbrella or rain poncho or jacket that I could just give away to strangers who need/could use one on a cold and/or rainy day. Maybe one of those portable/foldable extra bag things in case someone’s bag breaks or something.

So again, GC from Foodland, Safeway, Times, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Burger King, any other food places; Longs, Walgreens, Target, and the like. Write a little note saying it’s for the GC Giveaway Stash, just so I know it’s not for me personally.

Well, I’m not even sure why I posted this. Not a lot of people read this I think.

Are there any charities you would like to recommend supporting?

Mahalo if you’ve read this!

Muchas Gracias!

I am thankful:

>that God pursued me so many years ago and still pursues me today.

>for my family.

>that I have a home to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear.

>for my cats, especially Charis, my favorite feline companion when I cry.

>for Jules, the most wonderful friend and counselor with grace and stamina to handle my junk.

>for my friends.

>to have a camara and other equipment and materials that help me capture memories that make me and others smile.

>for songs to sing.

>for interesting shows with fascinating nerds on them to watch.

>for the warmth of the sun and coolness of the wind and rain.

>for bodies of water to swim [and swim sleep] in.

>to have a cell phone with which I can call for help when I need it, ease my parents’ minds about my safety, or annoy people because I tend not to hear it ringing.

>for humor, that we can laugh and enjoy life.

>for physical health (mental health is in question).

>for home cooked meals.

>that God put so much of Himself into the Bible that we might know Him more.

>to have various tools of expression at my use, like this journal.

>for communication devices that allow me to keep in touch or reconnect with people.

>for all the difficult times that I’ve gone through and for what those experiences taught me.

>for the iPod that was a gift two years ago.

>for people who know more than I do and are patient to teach what they know.

>for lip balm and other lip-protecting agents.

>that small business places like Waimalu Chop Suey and Shiro’s are still around.

>for the giving and receiving of unexpected gifts at an unexpected time.

>for soap, and I mean this seriously; I am thankful for soap.

>for inspiration, wherever I find it.

>for public transportation.

>for you!


What are you grateful for?

Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Punching Out

I took a kickboxing class at 24 a few years ago. I loved it, except that I am not very coordinated. A few grandparents in the class were doing better than I was.

So to work on the coordination, as well as re-boost my fitness confidence, I am trying out an exercise DVD. It is Jillian Michael’s Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. She’s one of the trainers from Biggest Loser, which is pretty much the only “reality” TV show I would watch or want to be on. Actually, I haven’t watched it in a long time and if I were that big, I probably wouldn’t want to go national with my size, but if it were a choice between BL and Survivor or Big Brother....

I chose this DVD because it is mostly kickboxing basic circuits and using one’s own body for weight training. I can’t get through all the circuits yet. I’ve worked out to it about four times now. It really gets one’s heart going. I love it so far. My muscles are really being worked! Now to get rid of the layers of fat so I can see my muscles. :)

I’ve been inactive for far too long. I’m more of a physical outlet person than a passive-aggressive when getting out frustrations, and I have several frustrations I’d rather punch out. I wanna work up to taking the class at 24 regularly; maybe I’d be less stressed. I think it might also help if I lost some weight. Overall I’d like to lose 25, but I’m gonna aim for 5 by…January? I should start swimming again also.

We will see how it all goes!

[One last thing: I am NOT saying that I am fat. I am saying I have fat. I would like to lose some of the fat so I can fit into more of my clothes better.]

Mahalo for reading.

Skippy or JIFF?

Serious question: do you prefer Skippy or JIFF peanut butter?

My family buys JIFF. Recently I bought Skippy because it was on sale and I’m trying to be VERY good about money. I don’t think I’ll be buying Skippy again. I wonder if it matters that I got the reduced fat one?

Oh! And I prefer chunky pb over smooth. I like having it on top of honey graham crackers. Yum! I like pb and banana sandwiches also! I think I’m gonna hafta have a snack soon….

So, Skippy or JIFF? Chunky or smooth?

A Howling Good Time

Thursday night, I went with some friends to a double feature: Twilight and the New Moon premiere! I can’t remember the last time I went to a premier. I don’t really care for seeing movies in the theaters, except I wanted to see G.I. Joe, but these friends do. Waiting in lines, sticky floors, questionable seats, overpriced food and admission, etc.

Lots of people only for seeing NM, wearing their Twilight/NM shirts. People brought their blankets and camp chairs for hanging out till midnight for the premier.

We got there earlier than we needed to but it was alright. No blankets, no camp chairs for our group. I thought it ended up being a good idea for watching both movies. I had somewhat forgotten what happened in the first movie. Then after, we got to stay in the same theater, same seats to watch NM. NO MORE WAITING IN LINE!

Oh, and the Twilight film burned through! That was cool! We did get to finish watching it though, which was good.

I can’t really stand Bella. After this, I wanna read the books but probably won’t. The movies are good but I won't give recommendations; you either wanna watch it or not. I like Alice’s wardrobe. I wore my sweater top with the white sleeves that looks kinda vintage, a headband, curled my hair, in the spirit of what Alice might wear.

No spoilers :)

Mahalo.

[I mostly wrote this just to show the photos!]

More Than a Bus Driver

I haven’t been riding the bus so much lately and kind of miss it.

I took the bus last Thursday, the 5th. I caught the A (Bus #84) from LCC around 12:40 pm towards UH. At one of the stops, the driver immediately got out of his seat to help an elderly man with a cane on to the bus. The elderly man has probably had a stroke because his left hand was stuck in a soft fist. His movements were shaky and very small.

I mention all this because of the way the driver responded. It has been a while since I’ve seen a driver be so gentle, patient and kind to one who needed care. I wish I could better describe what I saw. Something in the driver’s demeanor made me think that this was more than a job for him to drive people around on a bus.

I’ve seen wheelchair passengers get on and drivers get up to lock the chair in and such. This was different.

When we got to the elderly man’s stop, the driver got up quickly to gently help the man rise to his feet. The driver made sure the man was okay.

So driver of Bus #84 Route A, GOOD WORK!

Whatever job I have in the future, temporary or career-wise, I hope to display a servant-spirit like the driver did. I don't even know if the driver's a Christian, but it's how a Christian should respond to people. I hope to minister to people, not work a job. I hope to be God’s representative in the workplace. May this entry be a reminder.

Mahalo.

Intimidation

From the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

Main Entry: in•tim•i•date
Pronunciation: \in-ˈti-mə-ˌdāt\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): in•tim•i•dat•ed; in•tim•i•dat•ing
: to make timid or fearful : FRIGHTEN; especially : to compel or deter by or as if by threats
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So a friend thinks that someone is intimidated by me. I don’t know where to go with that, what to do with that. This isn’t the first time that someone’s told me that I’m intimidating.

I don’t know how I’m intimidating so I don’t know how to…ease up on that? And I don’t think I’m easily intimidated so I can’t say how I would want to be approached. It’s not my intent to intimidate people.

The person that might be intimidated by me, I don’t have much in common with the person. I don’t know what to do to relate to them, to open the door for a conversation between us. It frustrates me when I don’t know how to relate or when I try and it doesn’t work. I want to be able to talk with them in an easier manner.

Any ideas on how I am intimidating? How can I be less intimidating?

Are you intimidated by anything or anyone?

Opening Lines

I was at the beach park with a few friends the other day. We were walking down the pathway to the sandy area when a guy came from behind me and tapped my shoulder saying, “What’s your name?”

Whoa, scary moment! This did not help my paranoia complex.

Well, it was this guy from church from back in the days. I recognized him right away [insert sigh of relief here]. We talked a little. He’s at the church down the street now.

He was…on the edge of being creepy when I knew him before but he’s just one in a history of socially awkward guys I knew. I know what it is to be socially awkward; I have been known to ignore my mind filter and blurt out strange things that make others uncomfortable. I hope I’m better at minding the filter than I used to be…I HOPE.
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Um, yeah. Later that night, we went to visit Joker at work and to have dinner. His co-worker whom had been our server a couple times started to attend to us when I just pointed at Joker and said, “We want him!” Hmmm. I hope the co-worker figured out we were friends and not some crazy lady that was rejecting the co-worker's help [insert Jenn shaking head at self here].

Anyways, I don’t know why I walk around thinking that I will never be stopped by people I used to know, that I’m never gonna run into people I know. I walk around thinking I’m like a ghost, no one will bother me ‘cuz they don’t see me. I should start thinking that it’s a good sign that people will come up to me to say hi. I must have done something right at some point of time.

Errrr….ummmm….yeah. Mahalo for reading!

Untitled [11.07.09]

The door has been unlocked. I'm tempted to look but also to run out the back door. I think I'm gonna sit still for awhile.

Untitled [11.05.09]

I am still frustrated. I am back to being angry also.

This is all I know to say at the moment.

Do You See What I See?

I tend to be in the background partly because I like to observe. I don’t enjoy talking a lot because I generally feel like I have no idea what I’m talking about so be quiet, Jenn! Or if I’m talking a lot, it can mean that I’m trying to say something or trying to hide something.

So I like observing. This has saved me more trouble than I can tell. I look at the mistakes that people make so that I work that out in myself, learn from the mistakes of others. I see how people treat each other; I learn from both the beautiful and the ugly moments. I search for cues from people to know more about them than they realize that I know.
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I wonder about God’s omniscience and omnipresence. He knows and sees all. Reflecting on this has also saved me from a lot of sins I would have committed; not always, but at times. That’s not what I want to talk about here.

Lately I’ve been observing some ugliness in fellow Christians and it frustrates me, it saddens me. Why is it so easy for us to tear each other down? Why is it so easy for us to see the ugly in the other person and so easy to build up our own ego? On the judgment day, when I am called to give an account, what answer can I give regarding this kind of ugliness, the ugliness towards other Christians?

It still bothers me that Christians can be so loving and giving to strangers and acquaintances, but be so ugly to fellow Christians. That’s part of the… hypocrisy that non-believers detect. If I was on the outside and my curiosity brought me around a certain group of Christians, I would see how they do not love each other and turn and walk away. I have witnessed a non-believer being more loving than a believer. I’m working on being more loving than the non-believer.

I can be guilty of this ugliness. I’m letting God work it out in me. He wants me to advance His kingdom; that includes not tearing down what kingdom has already been established. If I have a part in winning a soul to Jesus, but I also have a part in closing myself off from a fellow Christian, have I advanced the kingdom? I know it’s not a direct one-to-one correlation, but it is a troublesome thought, isn’t it?

If I continue piling up grievances with fellow Christians, the kingdom will suffer. If I cut myself off from this person and that opportunity, I am telling God that I am not on His side. It is the opposite of Samuel and Isaiah and others when they heard the voice of God and said, “Here I am!” [I Sam. 3:4, 8, 10; Is. 6:8].

God is saying to me, “My kingdom is ONE kingdom. The church body is to be ONE body. Do not divide what is mine.”
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This is on my mind. Mahalo.

Untitled [11.01.09]

Today, I partook of the communion table. There are no adequate words to say how I am in awe of God.

I have sinned. God loves me still; He is here to receive me when I come to Him. Every time. I don’t understand it.

I am weak. I am intentional. I have evil desires.

I confess to Him, and though I cannot express how much I grieve my wrongs against Him, I am so grateful that He knows my heart.

I am afraid. I have been afraid for too many years. I had made tremendous progress in the last few years only by God’s power and love. I stumbled. I was falling and I plunged right in.

And God hasn’t abandoned me. Others have, and others will. I have hurt them. They have hurt me. And God forgives.
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For about a year now, I have been trying something out. I open my intimate time with God with the Lord’s Prayer. It has helped remind me of all the things God has given me to do through prayer in order to come to Him. Give thanks for who He is, be mindful of His purity, seek His will and not my own, He desires to have me with Him, but I am a sinner, and a sinner of whom He delights in redeeming.

It sounds like such a simple prayer. I am beginning to see so much in it, with God’s help, with the help of others He has sent for me.
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Please excuse me for not making more specific confessions here. I grieve that I have harmed God’s plan. I have made a mess of much. I will rest my hope in His power and will to use this ugliness of mine towards His glory.