Now, I have been working out the issues behind abortion for myself for at least the last decade. I have decided that I am Pro-Life and uncompromisingly so. However, in all my searching and logically working this position out, I wasn’t able to lay out the argument for being Pro-Life in a way that I felt confident to share it; I have a lot of other interests and important obligations to take care of. I knew that the Pro-Life view is correct, but I didn’t know how to say it clearly so that I could be assured in my position and so that others would understand my thoughts on the matter.
Well, I am now emboldened by a speech I heard recently and I’ll get to that shortly. I did not come out with it right away because even when I hear or read something that sounds good and right, I still take the time to think it over, work through it for myself. I need to know if something is true before I pass it along as a support to my beliefs.
Author and speaker on bioethics Scott Klusendorf lays out the Pro-Life view for us logically and clearly. He was featured a few months ago on the Focus on the Family broadcast titled “Reaching Hearts On Abortion I-II.” I recommend that you request the broadcast from FotF because there is so much good stuff in it. Whether you consider yourself Pro-Life or Pro-Choice, the argument that Klusendorf produces will make you think; it may not change your position but it’ll make you think about it.
So I will leave most of Klusendorf’s argument for you to seek out yourself, but I do want to include here just a portion of it. To set up the argument, Klusendorf quickly goes through two questions that are being debated in the culture today. The first question: is truth true or just a matter of preference? The second question: are human beings intrinsically valuable or only instrumentally valuable? I’m going to leave the first question for another time and get to the second question because it has to do with the abortion debate directly.
Klusendorf tells the story of how he had been on a plane trying to sleep when he was asked by the man sitting next to him what he did for a living. The conversation picks up from there. This is how Klusendorf tells it (edited for length, underlines added for emphasis):
____________________________
I said, “Well I do lectures on bioethics.”
He said, “What’s bioethics?”
“I do lectures on things like embryo stem-cell research, doctor-assisted suicide and abortion.”
He said, “Really? I agree with you; every woman should have a right to choose.”
That set me off. My wife will tell you it is hard for me to walk away from arguments once they start. I said, “Well, actually, that’s not my view.”
He said, “Uh oh, I know what you’re going to tell me. You’re catholic and your pope says abortion’s wrong, therefore you believe that you can impose your view on me, right?”
I said, “No, I’m not catholic, although the pope has written very eloquently on abortion. The Gospel of Life is a beautiful defense of the Pro-Life view but no, that isn’t my position that I was going to argue.”
He said, “Okay, you’re a Jerry Falwell guy. You’re one of the religious right-majority types…and you’re going to impose that because that’s your religious view?”
“No.”
He said, “What were you going to tell me?”
“I was going to tell you that I’m Pro-Life because I believe the Pro-Life position is true.” Men and women, he looked at me liked I’d stepped off Mars.
He said, “Really? You really believe that it’s true?”
“Yes, I do, because there’s good evidence for it.”
Now, I didn’t know this but the guy in front of us had been eavesdropping on the conversation. He turned around at that point, spread open the chair, stuck his nose through and said, “I was listening to what you just said…that you thought there was good reason to believe the Pro-Life position was true. I was wondering, do you have evidence for that or was that just an opinion?” --- wrong question to ask a guy who makes a living defending fetuses as human beings.
I said, “Sure, I’d be happy to defend that view. First of all, may I ask you a question. Do you believe newborns are human beings?”
[Man #2] said, “No, I believe once it’s born it’s a human being.”
“Fair enough. Would you be willing to look with me at the four differences between a fetus that you say is not human and a newborn that you say is, and let’s examine those four differences and see if any of them are relevant such that we can say it’s okay to kill the fetus but not okay to kill the newborn.” [Man #2 says okay].
“There’s only four differences: [S]ize, [L]evel of development, [E]nvironment and [D]egree of dependency. And I’m going to say that none of those are relevant. Let’s take a look at them.
“First, size; would you agree with me that the fetus is smaller than a newborn?”
He jumped all over that, [saying], “Oh, absolutely. How can you call something the size of a dot a human being?”
So I asked, “Are large people more human than small people?”
We went to the next category…I told to him to think of that acronym S-L-E-D. Then we went to level of development. I said, “Would you agree the fetus or embryo is smaller than a newborn?”
“Absolutely. How can you call something that doesn’t even have a functioning brain yet and is not even self-aware a human being?”
I said, “if self-awareness and intelligence define us as human beings, that means that those who are more intelligent should have the right to exploit those of us whose GPA was not too high in high school. It would also mean that we’re all in a gigantic bell curve; we start off with very little rights of personhood and very little self-consciousness and we gradually gain personhood as we reach our intellectual and physical peaks and then we gradually lose rights of personhood as we age. Is that your view?”
He says, “No, that’s an elitist view.”
I said, “Then why are you imposing it on the fetus? A four year old girl is less developed than a fourteen year old one. That four year old girl does not even have her reproductive system in place yet. Is she less of a person because of it?”
“No.” he said.
“Then why would you rule out the fetus from being human simply because its development doesn’t match ours?”
We went to the next category: environment, or location. He said, “Until it’s born it’s not a human being…because birth makes it human.”
“How does where you are have any bearing on who you are? A few hours ago you walked from the terminal at LAX onto this plane. You changed location; did you stop being you? what about when you rolled over in bed last night? You changed location; did you stop being you? if not, how does a simple journey of 8 inches down the birth canal suddenly transform a non-human tissue blob into a protectable human life we ought to value and respect?” he didn’t have an answer for that.
We went to the final category: degree of dependency. He said, “Until it’s viable, it’s not human.”
“If that’s the definition of what makes us human, our ability to live independent of anyone or anything, we’ve got a problem because there are people on this place that are not human and we may kill them…because there are people on this plane who depend on insulin, heart pacemakers, perhaps diabetes medication and without them they will not survive. Does that mean they are less human than us?”
He said, “No, I don’t like the way that sounds.”
“I don’t either. You can see then that there’s only four differences: size, level of development, environment, degree of dependency. None of them are morally relevant, are they?”
___________________________
Are they?
As the Wanted Child series continues, I’ll probably point back to the points articulated by SLED because it gives the foundation to why I believed the views I came to own in regards to being Pro-Life. If one’ll notice, Klusendorf made no reference to the Bible so it is a solid argument that one of any faith may trust, and yet the argument is biblically sound. There was no reference to the argument being gender relevant, so men and women may trust it. Klusendorf didn’t engineer the argument to be non-denominational or gender relevant; he just presented an argument that is true.
Maybe I’m taking what he said too simplistically. Maybe there is another way that a fetus and a newborn is different that does justify killing the fetus, or maybe one of his points doesn’t make as much sense as I believe it does. If someone has a different interpretation of the argument, please let me know because as always, I want to believe in that which is true.
I probably should have started this series with the logical argument, but as I’ve said before, I needed more time to work through Klusendorf’s presentation. The issue of abortion is on TV practically daily in one way or another and I didn’t want to wait to start talking about it.
Conclusion: human beings are intrinsically valuable.
Mahalo.
Showing posts with label The Wanted Child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Wanted Child. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Wanted Child: It’s in the Genes
I was watching a rerun of Law & Order which had to do with a doctor’s office that was bombed because the doctor claimed to have found the “gay gene,” the genetic marker for homosexuality. The implications were that if there is a “gay gene,” that then expecting parents would start screening their children for this gene and decide whether or not to abort their baby, much like they screen for downs syndrome to make the same decision. Therefore, I felt led to write this entry.
Now, I don’t believe that there is a gay gene, but that’s not the focus of my writing today. Actually, I will say this, that if homosexuality is in the genetic coding, it remains wrong to have an abortion because your fetus has the gene. Aborting a life is wrong whether that life is prone to homosexuality or downs syndrome or any other thing one might deem an “imperfection” that one may find in the genes.
Think about it, if all of our future could be sought out in our DNA, would any of us have been born?
On the one hand, we could wipe out all the hardships of life. Is criminality –murder, thievery, rape- in the genes? Let’s abort those crimes by aborting the life with the crime gene making the person prone to committing heinous crimes. What about cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis? That’s a tough life to live, let’s abort that. On the other hand, where would it end? Where should the line be drawn?
In the L&O episode, it’s revealed to the gay suspect that his brother wants to abort his baby because it was screened and found to have the gay gene. The brother loves his brother the suspect, and supposedly would love a homosexual son, but the problem is that he’s watched his gay brother have such a painful and lonely life. He wouldn’t wish that kind of life on anyone.
So, hypothetically, if there is a gay gene and people would be willing to abort their baby because of it, something the baby had no control over because it is, or would be, who they are and have a tough life because of it, how far are people willing to go? What of the baby who has the obesity gene? A life of obesity still carries with it the hardships of loneliness, teasing, and oftentimes ostracism; should the baby who has no control over their future obesity be aborted? Is that the definition of humane practice?
How about your life? Were you born with no implications of complications, born with two arms, two legs, working eyes and ears, in all respects “normal?” How easy has your life been?
What about me? If I’m going to make it personal, let me make it personal. When I was younger, I had severe rash. I itched so bad. My skin certainly did not feel comfortable, did not look like the smooth soft skin of anyone around me. It was scaly, it was coarse. No lotion or ointment in the world could ease the itch or fix the look of it. I found no relief when I was young.
Would it have been considered loving and humane for my parents to have spared me those years of discomfort and ridicule by not allowing my life at all? I did suffer some ridicule, as I remember having been pointed to and asked, “Waddis dat? You get lizard skin!” Thankfully, the embarrassment didn’t go further than that and I continued to have good friends who didn’t care. I still carry the scars of the discolored skin and deep wrinkling in the areas where the rash had been, but it did clear up after many years. Every so often, it flares up but fades away quickly now.
I have acne, as many people do. I didn’t have it as bad as others I have known, but I would get a huge festering goop-filled zit every so often. I remember I had one right on the upper end of my cheek by my eye that I could not hide nor cover up; you would meet me and see IT. I was about 15. I went to visit the intermediate school to help with a band event. The daughter of the director saw IT, went to her friends and said loudly, “Look at that ZIT! Gross!” It was humiliating and I was sure, I mean, she had said it aloud but I was sure there were others who just thought it when they saw me. My skin has cleared up a lot but I still have small outbreaks now and then. Imagine my parents screening for acne and sparing their daughter’s humiliation and pain.
Some want what they want. They want a “normal” child, but what child is normal? What is normal? They want a child with great intelligence, so abort the fetus with downs syndrome. They want a healthy, easy to care for child, so abort the fetus with muscular dystrophy; we’ll just try again for a “normal” child. They want a son first, so abort the female fetus. Think about it, they can already tell the gender early through ultrasound and so what’s to stop a woman from choosing to abort her male fetus because she wants a female fetus, or a woman thinks she can only financially support one child and finds she’s pregnant with triplets. I’m not knocking ultrasound because it is useful to know things beforehand in preparation, and through organizations like Focus on the Family, women are choosing against aborting their baby because they can see the baby clearly through ultrasound.
And to get back to the L&O episode, every parent would hope for a good life for their child, a life with lots of friends, no teasing, no hurt feelings, no beatings. The implication is that if the gay gene could be screened for, since homosexuals continue to be largely unaccepted in society and so have the opposite of the "good life" that parents hope for their child, they would have the fetus with the gay gene aborted.
Now, I do not believe in someone being born a homosexual, but that person is human, is made in the image of God, is valuable. Homosexuality, as all the other things I’ve mentioned, may it be genetic or a choice, is no reason for abortion. The Pro-Life position as I see it makes no exception as to orientation, gender, health, easy life, etc. Nor does it make exception for foresight into the evil bent of the coming child. It makes no exception to the right to life of a fetus whatsoever.
What's in all of our genes? Humanness, our right to life.
___________________________
A note to my homosexual friends: I hope I have not made any statement that has offended you. If I have, I apologize now for that is never my intent. Please contact me privately if I ever say something to offend and I will take the matter into consideration. I have tried to be clear as to my thoughts on the matter. It may be difficult in that in my faith I might not be able to fully understand you the way you might want me to, but it is certainly not difficult to love you and count you as friends.
Mahalo.
Now, I don’t believe that there is a gay gene, but that’s not the focus of my writing today. Actually, I will say this, that if homosexuality is in the genetic coding, it remains wrong to have an abortion because your fetus has the gene. Aborting a life is wrong whether that life is prone to homosexuality or downs syndrome or any other thing one might deem an “imperfection” that one may find in the genes.
Think about it, if all of our future could be sought out in our DNA, would any of us have been born?
On the one hand, we could wipe out all the hardships of life. Is criminality –murder, thievery, rape- in the genes? Let’s abort those crimes by aborting the life with the crime gene making the person prone to committing heinous crimes. What about cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis? That’s a tough life to live, let’s abort that. On the other hand, where would it end? Where should the line be drawn?
In the L&O episode, it’s revealed to the gay suspect that his brother wants to abort his baby because it was screened and found to have the gay gene. The brother loves his brother the suspect, and supposedly would love a homosexual son, but the problem is that he’s watched his gay brother have such a painful and lonely life. He wouldn’t wish that kind of life on anyone.
So, hypothetically, if there is a gay gene and people would be willing to abort their baby because of it, something the baby had no control over because it is, or would be, who they are and have a tough life because of it, how far are people willing to go? What of the baby who has the obesity gene? A life of obesity still carries with it the hardships of loneliness, teasing, and oftentimes ostracism; should the baby who has no control over their future obesity be aborted? Is that the definition of humane practice?
How about your life? Were you born with no implications of complications, born with two arms, two legs, working eyes and ears, in all respects “normal?” How easy has your life been?
What about me? If I’m going to make it personal, let me make it personal. When I was younger, I had severe rash. I itched so bad. My skin certainly did not feel comfortable, did not look like the smooth soft skin of anyone around me. It was scaly, it was coarse. No lotion or ointment in the world could ease the itch or fix the look of it. I found no relief when I was young.
Would it have been considered loving and humane for my parents to have spared me those years of discomfort and ridicule by not allowing my life at all? I did suffer some ridicule, as I remember having been pointed to and asked, “Waddis dat? You get lizard skin!” Thankfully, the embarrassment didn’t go further than that and I continued to have good friends who didn’t care. I still carry the scars of the discolored skin and deep wrinkling in the areas where the rash had been, but it did clear up after many years. Every so often, it flares up but fades away quickly now.
I have acne, as many people do. I didn’t have it as bad as others I have known, but I would get a huge festering goop-filled zit every so often. I remember I had one right on the upper end of my cheek by my eye that I could not hide nor cover up; you would meet me and see IT. I was about 15. I went to visit the intermediate school to help with a band event. The daughter of the director saw IT, went to her friends and said loudly, “Look at that ZIT! Gross!” It was humiliating and I was sure, I mean, she had said it aloud but I was sure there were others who just thought it when they saw me. My skin has cleared up a lot but I still have small outbreaks now and then. Imagine my parents screening for acne and sparing their daughter’s humiliation and pain.
Some want what they want. They want a “normal” child, but what child is normal? What is normal? They want a child with great intelligence, so abort the fetus with downs syndrome. They want a healthy, easy to care for child, so abort the fetus with muscular dystrophy; we’ll just try again for a “normal” child. They want a son first, so abort the female fetus. Think about it, they can already tell the gender early through ultrasound and so what’s to stop a woman from choosing to abort her male fetus because she wants a female fetus, or a woman thinks she can only financially support one child and finds she’s pregnant with triplets. I’m not knocking ultrasound because it is useful to know things beforehand in preparation, and through organizations like Focus on the Family, women are choosing against aborting their baby because they can see the baby clearly through ultrasound.
And to get back to the L&O episode, every parent would hope for a good life for their child, a life with lots of friends, no teasing, no hurt feelings, no beatings. The implication is that if the gay gene could be screened for, since homosexuals continue to be largely unaccepted in society and so have the opposite of the "good life" that parents hope for their child, they would have the fetus with the gay gene aborted.
Now, I do not believe in someone being born a homosexual, but that person is human, is made in the image of God, is valuable. Homosexuality, as all the other things I’ve mentioned, may it be genetic or a choice, is no reason for abortion. The Pro-Life position as I see it makes no exception as to orientation, gender, health, easy life, etc. Nor does it make exception for foresight into the evil bent of the coming child. It makes no exception to the right to life of a fetus whatsoever.
What's in all of our genes? Humanness, our right to life.
___________________________
A note to my homosexual friends: I hope I have not made any statement that has offended you. If I have, I apologize now for that is never my intent. Please contact me privately if I ever say something to offend and I will take the matter into consideration. I have tried to be clear as to my thoughts on the matter. It may be difficult in that in my faith I might not be able to fully understand you the way you might want me to, but it is certainly not difficult to love you and count you as friends.
Mahalo.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The Wanted Child: The Conversations
Okay, here goes the second entry in the Wanted Child Series, as I’m calling the entries regarding my pro-life views. Ready? I’m not sure I am quite yet either, but here I go…
I’m going to start with summaries of the conversations that had ignited my thoughts and research on abortion issues. For this entry, all of the names will not be nicknames at all but completely aliases to protect the identities as much as possible of the people with whom I’ve spoken. I make no judgments on any woman who has had an abortion; it’s not my place and it won’t change the past, but I want to be a voice for the unborn of today and of the future. After all, I was once unborn myself and I think I am a great idea! Um…I’m sticking to that. This will give more background on the way that I have gone about thinking on the issues.
___________________________
Mandy’s Story
Mandy was a close friend of mine some years ago; we’ve since lost touch because our lives went in different directions with college and work and the like.
We were hanging out in her room one day. I don’t remember if there was something we were talking about that prompted her to tell me how she had told her family that she had had an abortion. I can’t think of what my reaction had been.
Mandy told me how her mother cried and how her father didn’t talk to her for a long time. She said that her brother slapped her and cried. I had a difficult time imagining her brother reacting that way because he’s really not a violent guy at all; I know this because he brought me into his family initially and that’s how I met Mandy.
I wish I had the presence of mind and the maturity then to tell Mandy, at the least, how much I cared about her; I still do. I still don’t know what the right reaction should have been or if there was one. I’m big on smiles and Mandy’s got a great smile, she’s brilliant, talented, funny, and the most loyal friend I know. It’s okay, it’s in the past, what does she want for today and tomorrow and is there a way that I can help her get there? As far as I can recall, that had been the first conversation I had with anyone regarding abortion and I was completely unprepared to say anything.
Mandy’s a few years younger than me. At the time that she told me this, I was in my early 20s already while Mandy was 17, I think. I think she would have been 15 or 16 when she had the abortion. I thought back to when I was 16, a virgin, not worrying about becoming pregnant or getting an STD or my parents finding out what I've been doing; all of those concerns were for someone else. I was worried about getting through history or being competitively annoyed that Stinky, who’s younger than me, got a better score on a national math test or something.
I can’t say with any certainty what I would’ve done if I had been 16 and pregnant. I’ve heard the way people talk about young ladies who have sex and worse yet if they get pregnant. I have relatives who have had children outside of marriage and I’ve seen people’s attitudes towards them, the good and the bad. And worse yet, to have my parents find out?
Finding out about Mandy brought the issues closer to home for me.
___________________________
Jackie’s Question
Jackie was a friend I met in one of the practicum offices within which I had spent some time. In the midst of all of the older and married family coworkers, Jackie and I stood out as the young single new kids [Jackie had a boyfriend, but I’m saying single as in unmarried]. We were instant friends.
We were coming back from a girls’ day out, Jackie was driving. Again I can’t recall what the conversation was prior to Jackie asking what I thought about the issue of abortion. I tend to just answer questions at hand; I didn’t ask where the question was coming from, figuring that she’d tell me if she wanted to as we talked.
I said that I was against abortion. I wasn’t exactly sure whether or not it should be a political debate then. I said that I knew someone who had an abortion and it pained her family, it pained my friend, I thought I had seen it in her face and heard it in her voice. Jackie said she knew someone also. I said I had never been pregnant and she said the same for her.
I said that I wasn’t going to go to a clinic and scream at people, but if someone came to me with the problem of a pregnancy with which she didn’t know what to do, I would gently try to sway her towards having the baby. I would be with her and hold her hand when she went to learn about what her options are. Even if she went ahead with the abortion after all of that, I would still be a friend however I can because I am no judge. I can’t stop caring for someone just because of something they do, I am no judge. That doesn’t mean that I won’t speak out for what I believe to be wrong, but I very much realize that it’s often difficult to do right.
Jackie seemed to agree with what I had been saying. Next came the words that haunted me. Jackie said that she’s against abortion also, except in the case for the woman who became pregnant from a rape. I suppose I agreed with Jackie about the raped woman, for I feel for that woman, but I wasn’t completely sure what is right in that woman’s case. I couldn’t let it go and it led to more research on that particular issue.
___________________________
Debbie’s Action
After all of that research, I came to my conclusions about the matter. Since no one in that time had come to seek my thoughts, and I had no personal use for my thoughts, I kept them to myself but God perfectly gives us what we need. In this case it meant that I not only had to own my decision regarding abortion but that I needed to be able to believe it to the point that I could argue on behalf of the pro-life position. To this, God put Debbie in my path.
About 3 months after the conversation with Jackie, I found myself in another practicum semester, this time near San Fran, and volunteering my weekends with Habitat for Humanity. During the Habitat work, I started to become friends with the good people there, one of them being Rocky. Well, to give a little context, because I got along so well with Rocky, she thought that I would get along well with her girlfriend also. Okay, I like a compliment whatever it is!
Later, Rocky invited me out with her and her friend who wasn’t her girlfriend, they would pick me up so I said sure. Debbie drove up with Rocky, I got in the car and we went back to Debbie’s place in the city. Rocky wanted to spend some time in the hot tub at Debbie’s apartment before it started to get too cold. We were in the hot tub, having a relaxing night. A couple walked by and the guy’s eyes lingered a little longer than his girlfriend liked, I think.
Debbie and I are getting to know each other, and I hadn’t said anything about my beliefs, when she brought up the fact that she’s had an abortion. I really don’t understand why people tell me these things. Anyways, maybe we had been talking politics, I don’t remember but I doubt it.
So Debbie, who’s much older than Rocky and I, starts to talk about how she had two children, I think it was, but that she was done after two. She said that her children were somewhat grown [teenagers or so] when she got pregnant again and had an abortion. At some point, I must’ve asked a question that let her know that I was a Christian or perhaps that I was pro-life because next thing I knew, I was in a debate…and I was unprepared.
Well, we got stuck on semantics a little because I had said that pro-choice is incorrectly labeled because it’s really pro-abortion. Debbie said no, pro-life is incorrect because it’s really anti-choice. Debbie went on with her views on life and I got the sense that I wasn’t meant to win this battle anyway. I let her talk on. Rocky was mostly quiet, asking a question or two somewhere.
Debbie said that I, meaning the pro-lifer, say that people who have abortions are going to be emotionally scarred afterwards, but she had no guilt at all. If she got pregnant again, she’d have another abortion, no regrets. She said that I had no right to tell any woman to keep the baby, that I wanted to keep women in the kitchen, taking care of their babies. I sat there thinking, hmmm, that’s interesting.
Debbie said all she had to say on the matter I suppose, or it was just getting late. I hadn’t taken anything said personally, how could I? Rocky took a quick dive into the pool. We changed back into dry clothes upstairs and headed out to grab a bite to eat. We went to a nearby vegetarian place. The three of us sat and ate with pleasant conversation. We even laughed about stuff. I had a good eggplant burger. Then they dropped me off back home.
___________________________
I’m gonna pause here for now and return to my thoughts that developed from Debbie’s words that haunted me another time. As I said before, I’m alright with disagreements and Debbie brought up some interesting thoughts. And when I say that something haunted me, I mean that it stuck in my mind so well that I needed to reconcile it somehow; with this subject, I needed to research it for answers. If you’ve followed along this far, I hope you’ll come back when I talk about the matter again.
Thank you for your time.
I’m going to start with summaries of the conversations that had ignited my thoughts and research on abortion issues. For this entry, all of the names will not be nicknames at all but completely aliases to protect the identities as much as possible of the people with whom I’ve spoken. I make no judgments on any woman who has had an abortion; it’s not my place and it won’t change the past, but I want to be a voice for the unborn of today and of the future. After all, I was once unborn myself and I think I am a great idea! Um…I’m sticking to that. This will give more background on the way that I have gone about thinking on the issues.
___________________________
Mandy’s Story
Mandy was a close friend of mine some years ago; we’ve since lost touch because our lives went in different directions with college and work and the like.
We were hanging out in her room one day. I don’t remember if there was something we were talking about that prompted her to tell me how she had told her family that she had had an abortion. I can’t think of what my reaction had been.
Mandy told me how her mother cried and how her father didn’t talk to her for a long time. She said that her brother slapped her and cried. I had a difficult time imagining her brother reacting that way because he’s really not a violent guy at all; I know this because he brought me into his family initially and that’s how I met Mandy.
I wish I had the presence of mind and the maturity then to tell Mandy, at the least, how much I cared about her; I still do. I still don’t know what the right reaction should have been or if there was one. I’m big on smiles and Mandy’s got a great smile, she’s brilliant, talented, funny, and the most loyal friend I know. It’s okay, it’s in the past, what does she want for today and tomorrow and is there a way that I can help her get there? As far as I can recall, that had been the first conversation I had with anyone regarding abortion and I was completely unprepared to say anything.
Mandy’s a few years younger than me. At the time that she told me this, I was in my early 20s already while Mandy was 17, I think. I think she would have been 15 or 16 when she had the abortion. I thought back to when I was 16, a virgin, not worrying about becoming pregnant or getting an STD or my parents finding out what I've been doing; all of those concerns were for someone else. I was worried about getting through history or being competitively annoyed that Stinky, who’s younger than me, got a better score on a national math test or something.
I can’t say with any certainty what I would’ve done if I had been 16 and pregnant. I’ve heard the way people talk about young ladies who have sex and worse yet if they get pregnant. I have relatives who have had children outside of marriage and I’ve seen people’s attitudes towards them, the good and the bad. And worse yet, to have my parents find out?
Finding out about Mandy brought the issues closer to home for me.
___________________________
Jackie’s Question
Jackie was a friend I met in one of the practicum offices within which I had spent some time. In the midst of all of the older and married family coworkers, Jackie and I stood out as the young single new kids [Jackie had a boyfriend, but I’m saying single as in unmarried]. We were instant friends.
We were coming back from a girls’ day out, Jackie was driving. Again I can’t recall what the conversation was prior to Jackie asking what I thought about the issue of abortion. I tend to just answer questions at hand; I didn’t ask where the question was coming from, figuring that she’d tell me if she wanted to as we talked.
I said that I was against abortion. I wasn’t exactly sure whether or not it should be a political debate then. I said that I knew someone who had an abortion and it pained her family, it pained my friend, I thought I had seen it in her face and heard it in her voice. Jackie said she knew someone also. I said I had never been pregnant and she said the same for her.
I said that I wasn’t going to go to a clinic and scream at people, but if someone came to me with the problem of a pregnancy with which she didn’t know what to do, I would gently try to sway her towards having the baby. I would be with her and hold her hand when she went to learn about what her options are. Even if she went ahead with the abortion after all of that, I would still be a friend however I can because I am no judge. I can’t stop caring for someone just because of something they do, I am no judge. That doesn’t mean that I won’t speak out for what I believe to be wrong, but I very much realize that it’s often difficult to do right.
Jackie seemed to agree with what I had been saying. Next came the words that haunted me. Jackie said that she’s against abortion also, except in the case for the woman who became pregnant from a rape. I suppose I agreed with Jackie about the raped woman, for I feel for that woman, but I wasn’t completely sure what is right in that woman’s case. I couldn’t let it go and it led to more research on that particular issue.
___________________________
Debbie’s Action
After all of that research, I came to my conclusions about the matter. Since no one in that time had come to seek my thoughts, and I had no personal use for my thoughts, I kept them to myself but God perfectly gives us what we need. In this case it meant that I not only had to own my decision regarding abortion but that I needed to be able to believe it to the point that I could argue on behalf of the pro-life position. To this, God put Debbie in my path.
About 3 months after the conversation with Jackie, I found myself in another practicum semester, this time near San Fran, and volunteering my weekends with Habitat for Humanity. During the Habitat work, I started to become friends with the good people there, one of them being Rocky. Well, to give a little context, because I got along so well with Rocky, she thought that I would get along well with her girlfriend also. Okay, I like a compliment whatever it is!
Later, Rocky invited me out with her and her friend who wasn’t her girlfriend, they would pick me up so I said sure. Debbie drove up with Rocky, I got in the car and we went back to Debbie’s place in the city. Rocky wanted to spend some time in the hot tub at Debbie’s apartment before it started to get too cold. We were in the hot tub, having a relaxing night. A couple walked by and the guy’s eyes lingered a little longer than his girlfriend liked, I think.
Debbie and I are getting to know each other, and I hadn’t said anything about my beliefs, when she brought up the fact that she’s had an abortion. I really don’t understand why people tell me these things. Anyways, maybe we had been talking politics, I don’t remember but I doubt it.
So Debbie, who’s much older than Rocky and I, starts to talk about how she had two children, I think it was, but that she was done after two. She said that her children were somewhat grown [teenagers or so] when she got pregnant again and had an abortion. At some point, I must’ve asked a question that let her know that I was a Christian or perhaps that I was pro-life because next thing I knew, I was in a debate…and I was unprepared.
Well, we got stuck on semantics a little because I had said that pro-choice is incorrectly labeled because it’s really pro-abortion. Debbie said no, pro-life is incorrect because it’s really anti-choice. Debbie went on with her views on life and I got the sense that I wasn’t meant to win this battle anyway. I let her talk on. Rocky was mostly quiet, asking a question or two somewhere.
Debbie said that I, meaning the pro-lifer, say that people who have abortions are going to be emotionally scarred afterwards, but she had no guilt at all. If she got pregnant again, she’d have another abortion, no regrets. She said that I had no right to tell any woman to keep the baby, that I wanted to keep women in the kitchen, taking care of their babies. I sat there thinking, hmmm, that’s interesting.
Debbie said all she had to say on the matter I suppose, or it was just getting late. I hadn’t taken anything said personally, how could I? Rocky took a quick dive into the pool. We changed back into dry clothes upstairs and headed out to grab a bite to eat. We went to a nearby vegetarian place. The three of us sat and ate with pleasant conversation. We even laughed about stuff. I had a good eggplant burger. Then they dropped me off back home.
___________________________
I’m gonna pause here for now and return to my thoughts that developed from Debbie’s words that haunted me another time. As I said before, I’m alright with disagreements and Debbie brought up some interesting thoughts. And when I say that something haunted me, I mean that it stuck in my mind so well that I needed to reconcile it somehow; with this subject, I needed to research it for answers. If you’ve followed along this far, I hope you’ll come back when I talk about the matter again.
Thank you for your time.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Every Child IS A Wanted Child
Did you know that?
Pro-Abortionists say that they would like to make sure that every child that comes into this world is a wanted child. I wonder if some of them wonder if they were wanted children. I think they’re bitter and hurting, possibly misinformed, but I could be wrong.
The debate over human life is a topic that is on my mind constantly. I’ve had conversations with people on the topic and the words haunt me.
As I talk about this particular subject, I’m sure that you’ll get it that I am PRO-LIFE. Yes, the Bible talks about life and Christians are called to defend life, but I am not pro-life only because the Bible is pro-life. It has been a long journey for me to come to the decision for life. This is a choice that every person can make.
I’m going to put aside what the Bible says about life for now because life is so vital to all people, any faith, any ethnicity, any economic level, each and every person. We all share life, we are all living, and that’s where I want to start. We all have been given life and I think that is why this subject is so fervently debated. It is important for everybody to have a belief in this battle.
My mission is not to judge anyone on the matter. Most of what I say, the serious subject matters, is because I want to discuss, to agree, to argue, to get someone to think about what they believe, what they say, what they do. I don’t want to go through life blindly following what sounds good or right or popular, and I wouldn’t want you to follow blindly either but own your thoughts. I don’t mind disagreements; it’s how we can get to the truth. You can disagree with me and I will still respect you. I won't say I have all the answers because I don't. But I have answers. What are your answers?
I have always been pro-life, but I held onto it tentatively in the beginning. Pro-choice uses such persuasive, lovely-sounding words and phrases that can be misleading, like that of the wanted child. I wasn’t sure what to believe on certain points, but I’ll get to that in time. It was through study and discussion that my position has been strengthened.
I am single and have never been pregnant. I have not been in the situation of bringing forth life nor of denying life. The remarkable ability of giving birth is so grand that it is a decision that should be made before the opportunity comes. Make absolutely clear that I mean every person, men and women, married and single, the adult and the young teenager. I’m talking to you. I’ll also listen to you.
I mentioned the men. Men, don’t chicken out on making this decision. There is a reason why the human race has two genders and we’ll get to that as well.
I hope that is enough of an introduction, that this leaves you wondering what’s coming up. Life is a big subject; let’s take it slow. Let’s give this subject the attention it is due. More than a decade has it taken me to reach these beliefs and the journey is most likely not complete. Life is big, let’s find the way through. It’s not scary at all, life is AMAZING.
I haven’t set a schedule on when I’ll be hitting each point; I don’t have a set schedule on anything but this topic is so important to me as you have read. Tomorrow will most likely be the Biggest Loser update, a much lighter topic; I said I would ease into everything.
Mahalo for reading in, hope you’ll check in again!
Pro-Abortionists say that they would like to make sure that every child that comes into this world is a wanted child. I wonder if some of them wonder if they were wanted children. I think they’re bitter and hurting, possibly misinformed, but I could be wrong.
The debate over human life is a topic that is on my mind constantly. I’ve had conversations with people on the topic and the words haunt me.
As I talk about this particular subject, I’m sure that you’ll get it that I am PRO-LIFE. Yes, the Bible talks about life and Christians are called to defend life, but I am not pro-life only because the Bible is pro-life. It has been a long journey for me to come to the decision for life. This is a choice that every person can make.
I’m going to put aside what the Bible says about life for now because life is so vital to all people, any faith, any ethnicity, any economic level, each and every person. We all share life, we are all living, and that’s where I want to start. We all have been given life and I think that is why this subject is so fervently debated. It is important for everybody to have a belief in this battle.
My mission is not to judge anyone on the matter. Most of what I say, the serious subject matters, is because I want to discuss, to agree, to argue, to get someone to think about what they believe, what they say, what they do. I don’t want to go through life blindly following what sounds good or right or popular, and I wouldn’t want you to follow blindly either but own your thoughts. I don’t mind disagreements; it’s how we can get to the truth. You can disagree with me and I will still respect you. I won't say I have all the answers because I don't. But I have answers. What are your answers?
I have always been pro-life, but I held onto it tentatively in the beginning. Pro-choice uses such persuasive, lovely-sounding words and phrases that can be misleading, like that of the wanted child. I wasn’t sure what to believe on certain points, but I’ll get to that in time. It was through study and discussion that my position has been strengthened.
I am single and have never been pregnant. I have not been in the situation of bringing forth life nor of denying life. The remarkable ability of giving birth is so grand that it is a decision that should be made before the opportunity comes. Make absolutely clear that I mean every person, men and women, married and single, the adult and the young teenager. I’m talking to you. I’ll also listen to you.
I mentioned the men. Men, don’t chicken out on making this decision. There is a reason why the human race has two genders and we’ll get to that as well.
I hope that is enough of an introduction, that this leaves you wondering what’s coming up. Life is a big subject; let’s take it slow. Let’s give this subject the attention it is due. More than a decade has it taken me to reach these beliefs and the journey is most likely not complete. Life is big, let’s find the way through. It’s not scary at all, life is AMAZING.
I haven’t set a schedule on when I’ll be hitting each point; I don’t have a set schedule on anything but this topic is so important to me as you have read. Tomorrow will most likely be the Biggest Loser update, a much lighter topic; I said I would ease into everything.
Mahalo for reading in, hope you’ll check in again!
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